


Helpful suggestions (un)wanted

by newtmasdoesthedo



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: John is sneaky, M/M, he is a sneaky Hobbitser, someone who thinks about clowns a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-03-27
Packaged: 2018-01-17 05:10:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1374967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newtmasdoesthedo/pseuds/newtmasdoesthedo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John put up a competition on his blog promising that person with the best deductions and suggestions for a case will meet the famous Sherlock Holmes. He forgot to consult Sherlock first. Sherlock does not need help. At all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Helpful suggestions (un)wanted

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tyone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyone/gifts).



> 1\. When I started this I thought it would be finished within the day because I'm arrogant like that. I thought I could finish it, but I couldn't and I promised it to [ughbenedict](http://ughbenedict.tumblr.com) on tumblr, so because I felt bad last night I got around to finishing it which means that I wanted to post it ASAP so it's unbetaed. Also I read it through on here yesterday, but then it got deleted, so the small mistakes I caught yesterday have gotten lost - meaning that I'd like you to point out if you spot any mistakes.  
> 2\. Anna babe, I don't know if it came through well enough, but I tried to incorporate a bit of your situation into this. You may have to cock your head and squint a little to have it come through clearly enough to see it.  
> 3\. This has also been posted on my [tumblr](http://drinkwithmegrantaire.tumblr.com) so if you see it floating around on tumblr, do not fret, it is merely I.

”John?”

  
John didn’t look up. He knew that tone. Something annoyed Sherlock and consequently that meant that something was going to annoy him. ”Sherlock.”

  
The acknowledgement of Sherlock’s presence turned out to be a bad idea as per usual. Of course John ignoring Sherlock had never caused him to shut up before, but it certainly didn’t now. “Why are there people sending me suggestions on the Stratford case on my client e-mail?” Sherlock asked, his tone way too conversational, which in turn meant that John would soon be having a conversation that he neither wanted, nor had time for.

  
It took John a couple of seconds to realize what Sherlock was talking about, and he let out a long exasperated sigh as he (barely) resisted the urge to facepalm because Sherlock had made his feelings about facepalming very, very clear.

  
“I thought I made it very clear on the page that they were to write their suggestions on my blog-email. God, I should have known this would happen, it’s just my luck.” The good doctor groaned, annoyance clear in his voice as he got up and opened his laptop, fighting the frown on his face because he wanted to save up the energy of his face-muscles for when Sherlock would inevitably start talking.

  
It was going to be horrible. John was certain. And he was right.

  
“Take it down.”

  
“What?” he asked, hoping that Sherlock wouldn’t repeat his demand, but knowing that his wish would not be granted. 

  
Sherlock rolled his eyes so hard John could feel it without even looking up from the laptop, having logged in on the blog to specify once again that they were not to contact Sherlock. “The contest, John. Take it down.” He demanded again, and John found himself questioning the no-facepalming-rule once again.

  
“How do you know there’s a contest? I just asked for suggestions because I thought it would be fun for the readers. You’re not exactly likeable, you know, it’d be good for you to try to work on your reputation a bit.” John pointed out, pausing his lie only because he knew that too many details on his thoughts of it would make it seem implausible and his argument was fairly rational, he thought. Sherlock  _would_  benefit from the readers liking him a bit more.

  
“You seem to like me well enough. You have been dating me for four months now.” Sherlock pointed out, and had it been anyone else, John would have taken it as flirting, but Sherlock didn’t flirt much (except for his excessive amount of winking at John, which John had only recently realised was flirting). He was pretty direct whenever he wanted attention or make his feelings apparent. So basically it was just Sherlock pointing out that John really did like him a lot.  
  
  
“Yes, I wake up amazed every day.” John answered dryly, though he was happy they’d moved to a safer subject.  
  
  
“Now stop lying to me and take the contest down.”  
  
  
He sighed. “You don’t know that it’s a contest, Sherlock, you’re just being unfair.” He knew he wasn’t off the hook yet. He didn’t want to talk to Sherlock about the prize he’d promised already when his boyfriend took this attitude with the issue. He had sort of hoped that one of his readers would have helped them with the case or at least come close to Sherlock’s deductions, impressed Sherlock and thus gotten to meet him after a fair amount of convincing on John’s part.  
  
  
Convincing here equalling to plenty of blowjobs and trying out new things that Sherlock was curious about in bed to get on his good side (not that John didn’t enjoy this exploring, but he wasn’t above acting like he did something mainly for Sherlock if that gave him some leverage). Maybe even ask the detective post-orgasm when his formidable brain actually slowed down enough for John to manipulate him just a little bit. He wasn’t proud of his occasional use of this to his advantage, but he also wasn’t stupid enough to  _not_ use it.  
  
  
“The tone of your voice, your typing is aggressive, you’re frowning and your jaw is clenched. You’re rubbing your nose, which is a sign of adrenaline rushing to your capillaries. Although it’s not a completely confirmed theory,” he paused and tapped the screen of his phone a couple of time, a particularly annoying habit of his because he liked making John wait. The aforementioned made an exasperated noise to make him continue. “You’re blinking a lot and your eyes are trailing to the right, indicating that you’re lying.”  
  
  
John groaned, leaning down and resting his face on the laptop keyboard. “That proves nothing, please shut up.”  
  
  
“Also I’m on the blog right now.” He pointed out, holding up his phone.  
  
  
For a second John was scared his eyes were going to get stuck in the back of his head as he rolled them. “Brilliant detective work right there, Sherlock.”  
  
  
“The snark doesn’t suit you, John, now will you take it down or should I hack into your blog and close it down altogether? They don’t even give good suggestions, John,” Sherlock pointed out, sounding like a petulant child who’d expected better toys, “They’re ranging from mediocre to downright stupid. One of them suggested that the clown did it. There is no clown, John, as you well know. There never was a clown.”  
  
  
The other man made a noise between amusement and desperation. “Sherlock, you will  _not_ take down my blog. That’s completely unfair and unreasonable.”  
  
  
Sherlock now got up from the couch where he’d been lounging for the past two hours and throwing darts up into the ceiling – a hobby that John certainly did not appreciate because he was really worried that Sherlock would end up with a dart between his eyes.  
  
  
He did, however, much appreciate Sherlock’s form as he moved closer, so he turned his head so he could fully enjoy the lean frame, annoyed with himself that he was turned on by him even when he was angry with him.  
  
  
“Now John, how did you expect to ever convince me to meet up with one of these meatheads?” Sherlock asked, and though John was no detective himself, he did detect a hint of amusement in Sherlock’s voice and he happily assumed that soon flirting would follow.  
  
  
“I don’t know. Any ideas as to how I could convince you?” he asked, licking his lips as his eyes flicked to Sherlock’s. He loved Sherlock’s lips, but then again, he was pretty certain he wasn’t the only one who’d ever noticed them. He always found his eyes wandering to the Cupid’s bow of those disturbingly pink lips. If he didn’t know better he’d have thought that Sherlock was using lipstick, but of course he’d never be stupid enough to say that. Sherlock would probably give him an hour-long lecture of the significant meanings of different colours of lipstick followed up by several piercing questions about whether the thought of him wearing lipstick turned John on or not. He’d quickly found out that Sherlock did dating like he did everything else – methodically. Which made him an absolutely amazing boyfriend and live-in partner after a short while – despite him right now leaning over John and starting to go through the settings of John’s blog, presumably looking for a way to delete it.  
  
  
“Sherlock, you are not deleting my blog, stop that right now,” sighed John, exasperation crawling back into his voice, and he started unbuttoning his shirt because he knew that he had to distract Sherlock  _now_ , because it would take the consulting detective a ridiculously small amount of time to guess John’s password and crack his safety questions. John could only hope to deter him and he wasn’t above playing dirty.  
  
  
The detective, though, had either not noticed yet or had chosen to ignore the way John’s shirt was staring to fall loose (if so John assumed that Sherlock was just toying with him because he liked to make John work for it).  “It’s an invasion of privacy, John, I’m in my good right to do this and you cannot be unaware of this.” He argued and found the delete-button, pressing it and making a soft humming sound to himself, tapping his lower lip twice with his index finger, making his first guess and wrinkling his nose (in a way that was in no way adorable, no, not at all) when it wasn’t accepted. “Of course not, they’re still not on speaking terms, maybe… no.”  
  
  
John let out a small huff of laughter, “Sherlock, I’d like you to invade my ‘privacy’ right now. Multiple times in quick succession if you wouldn’t mind.”  
  
  
“That’s an unusually odd suggestion to make, John, why would you—-“ he trailed off as John stood up, ridding himself of his shirt in a way that briefly caught his hands behind his back. “Oh. I think I can do that.”  
  
  
John felt his lips form into a soft smirk and he took a step towards their bedroom, “You don’t want to keep trying to guess my password?”  
  
  
Sherlock snorted and straightened up. The bastard ran his fingers through those perfect, inky curls only because he knew that John adored his hair. “Don’t be an idiot, John, it’s fairly obvious that your password is ‘Sherlock’. Horribly unsafe password for a blog about me. Specifically when it’s so painstakingly obvious for anyone with half a brain that you’re head over heels in love with me.”  
  
  
“Took quite some time to get it through  _your_  thick skull, would you just come in here and shag me already? My knob doesn’t take particular interest in arrogant jerks.”  
  
  
Sherlock made an amused sound and raised his eyebrows challengingly, “I think we can easily conclude that’s not the case.”  
  
  
\- Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> If I show you my [tumblr](http://drinkwithmegrantaire.tumblr.com) will you show me yours?


End file.
